


How did we grow so far Apart?

by sampsonknight



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2003), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Canon, Alternate Universe, Angst, Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fights, Friendship, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 09:30:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4741361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sampsonknight/pseuds/sampsonknight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Raph and Leo where of best of friends when they were kids. But unfortunately such times could never stay as is, while they find out they have to follow the paths they were given, losing each other on the way. Will they ever regain that once lost friendship?</p><p>This will be a three part story.<br/>Disclaimer: TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.<br/>(Turtles are not based on any given universe.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

** **

**Everything was black and white, things were so simple back then…**

**Life was all about games and having fun. Enjoying each others company and even challenge each other to prove to the other which one was better, to gain boasting rights nothing more.**   
**Yet at the end of the day, we still were the best of friends.**   
**We were there for each other through thick and thin, covering each others shells.**   
**Out of the four of us, we two grew close to each other, as brothers.**   
**Then… one day it all changed for the worse…**   
  
**How it started…**

* * *

* * *

  
  
I fully relied on him, trusting him to take the lead at times and being there for me when I needed it.  
   
In truth, I always stood up tall and proud to take the blame to save his sorry ass when it came to it, making it look like I was the one that started the mischief, taking whatever punishment that came with it.  
   
I didn’t mind one bit really, I would gladly do it for him in a heart beat.  
   
We were a team, there was no leader or underling, just the two of us.  
   
Sure, I hung around Mikey and Donnie as well, but it wasn’t the same, they had their own things as Leo and I did.  
   
Things were awesome, amazing even.  
   
We got along so well, in the likes you would never believe.  
   
Of course at times I have to admit we got into some nasty scuffles turning into full blown fights, hell come on now, we are brothers after all.  
   
Do you really think we would be lovely dovey all the time. HA! That is a laugh, damn it, we fought tooth and nail too, but it wasn’t like how it is now…  
   
The funny thing is after our little spat, all we would do afterwards was just looked at each other in silence, breathing heavily.  
   
Leo… man Leo would be all bruised up as hell, he should have been in pain hindered by it.  
   
Yet he just wore that goofy look on his face like he wasn’t sure if he should cry or lunge at me to get back for punching him.  
   
No matter how much I tried I could never hold it back at that point.  
   
Falling victim to the bubbling amusement boiling inside me, roaring a thunderstorm of laughter, I would flop to the ground, rolling around like some fool, to the point I felt like I was going to piss myself.  
   
All the while Leo just stared at me complex, red in the face, flabbergasted over what to do next.  
   
Finding some control over this fit of mine, I would somehow manage to get a light smile on my lips, punching him in the arm.  
   
In reaction to my normal brute behavior, he would just freeze in his spot at first.  
   
Then when you think he would attack or lash back, which I would do that is for sure. He did the opposite; giving me a smile like no other that made Mikey’s run away in shame.  
   
The next part let me tell you, it would knock your socks off, Leo would start laughing.  
   
Not that haa haa bullshit, I mean out right horse laugh, the one you would never be caught dead letting out.  
   
Oh man… it was the best, of course after the fact he would threaten me not to tell anyone…  
   
Between you and me I did, though Mikey and Donnie didn’t believed me…  
   
Those were the good old days…  
   
Then it all changed… it all started when Master Splinter announced he has chosen his successor to be the leader of the four of us.  
   
I really wanted the position, not to prove that I was better or anything like that, I’m not conceded or believe I deserved it.  
   
No, I just wanted to prove to myself that I was just as eligible and worthy to be granted that honor just the same as my other brothers.  
   
I knew I could do it if I work hard enough, I might not be perfect, but I knew I had it in me to be the leader and keep my brothers safe.  
   
Yet that never came to be…  
   
When our Master lined us up, as he walked back and forth telling some lecture I had no interest in, he finally finished stopping in front of Leo.  
   
With a low bow to Leo, Master Splinter gave him the blue bandana that symbolized the leader.  
   
I couldn’t believe it, my hopes were crushed by this signal gesture.  
   
The bastard smiled brightly of course, he did… stating something on the lines how honored he was… Like hell he was!! I could see the sparkle in his eye telling me he won this round…  
   
He was so smug, full of pride that I felt like puking and punching that damn face of his.  
   
I didn’t hate Leo for getting it really, I guess I was just very disappointed… Sadly, that wasn’t the icing on the cake though that ripped me apart inside.  
   
The Master didn’t stop there going down the line, with Donnie next receiving the purple bandana then Mikey with orange, then last it was my turn.  
   
At that moment I didn’t care, I was frustrated not understanding why Leo was chosen, he was the last turtle I would consider becoming the leader.  
   
I figured if it wasn’t me Donnie would have been the one…  
   
Then when I gazed upon on what was in store for me, I felt so insulted, then I ever thought could happen to me that day, on top of Leo becoming the leader.  
   
I was given the red one, the opposite color to blue.  
   
Damn it, in every video game or board game… no matter which one you look at!!! The red and blue were always enemies… was that what we will become?  
   
We to be bitter rivals to the end of our bloody days?  
For me to always stand in his shadow as nothing more than some failure, in comparison to him?  
…  
I really thought we were equals… So much the same… I guess I was wrong.  
   
Pissed off as I was, for being a 12 year old at the time, I had a lot of anger boiling within, even for me.  
   
Unable to stand there any longer feeling like some loser that got the punch on the shoulder being told better luck next time, I lost it!  
   
I stormed out of that damn place as my brothers gasped in shock, that I would even dare to pull such an unspeakable act like this, on such a joyful ceremony of coming of age.  
   
To me it wasn’t joyful only a slap in the face.  
   
My insides felt like they were on fire as I ran, hearing my father yelling at me telling me to get my shell back there or else…  
   
I ignored the old rat in disgust, I couldn’t look at him, how could he have done this to Leo and me?  
   
In my rage I fled out of the lair to the sewers making every turn and twist possible to lose myself and to make sure that no one was able to follow me.  
   
Running for hours I finally came to a spot that seemed far enough and secure to take shelter.  
   
I stayed in that filthy place, burrowing in my regret and sorrows.  
   
Begging the question that plagued me so… Was I not good enough?  
   
For hours I didn’t stir from that spot as long as I could manage.  
   
Unfortunately for me my stomach betrayed me, reminding me that I haven’t had lunch and it must have been past supper time.  In the end, I was defeated by my own body, forced to go back to that place...  
   
The lair as I could remember was dead quiet, to the point it gave me a dreadful feeling, bringing shivers up my spine.  
   
My father was the only one around sitting there in the dark, within his chair looking at me disapprovingly.  
   
Part of me felt guilty for causing such a commotion on the day my brothers and I have been waiting for eagerly, for weeks at that. While the other part wanted to yell at him.  
   
To get down to business and ask him why?!  
   
That part was stronger overflowing the small portion of guilt in my heart, making me to take action.  
   
I stomped up to him still holding the stupid red banana filmy in one hand, I couldn’t stomach the sight of it or what it represented.  
   
“Why!” I roared at him as he calmly looked at the red bandana then back to me with his eyes that showed no anger at all.  
“It suits you my son,” the old rat stated not shifting in his spot.  
   
“It suits me?! How is that? Am I not good enough to be the leader or be considered to be one?”  
   
Thinking my father would say something on the lines to soothe the rage inside me that was about to explode, he did the opposite, crossing his legs, making his face blank and hard, “No my son you’re not.”  
   
My world being crushed underneath me at that moment, my heart felt so heavy like someone filled it up with concrete.  
   
I really wasn’t suspecting him to say something so cold like that.  
   
It hit me so hard I lost all feelings in my legs as they became numb.  
   
Gravity came down upon me with an unforgiving force, making my body fall to the ground as I could only stare at the cement floor in vain.  
   
I wasn’t good enough… What made Leo worthy of our father’s praise?  
   
What have I done?  
   
The old rat not saying another word rose out of his chair, leaving me with my denial that ate at my soul.  
   
What made Leo better than me? Was I really the weakest link here…

* * *

   
   
  
   
I looked up to Raph, he might have been younger, or was it we were the same age?  
   
I really never found out, like I really care if I was the oldest or not.  
   
To me Raph was the world.  
   
We got along so well, like two peas in a pod.  
   
Even those days we would rough house, I never could stay mad at him for long, he always knew how to put a smile on my face.  
   
I would have to admit he did a better job when it came to me, then say Mikey ever had.  
   
Though I wouldn’t dare tell Mikey that, it would only put his sprits down.  
   
I remember this one time when Raph got lost in the winding labyrinth of the sewers, even now it still vivid in my head like it was yesterday.  
   
Ah, that was a very entertaining day indeed, I mean he wasn’t lost per say…  
   
Sort of… See he wasn’t really alone, I was there hiding in the shadows following him and of course he didn’t have a clue that I was watching him.  
   
Also at that time I knew the way back home, so it wasn’t that big of a deal, to me at least.  
   
After some time had past, the tough guy as he always put himself out as, finally started to cry, which was a rare occasion I might add.  
   
Then, like the good brother as I was, I came out of nowhere to play the hero.  
   
You should have seen his face, the tears rolling down his cheeks that were red by his frustration and fear.  
   
Then everything instantly changed in him as he saw me.  
   
His eyes were full of joy in seeing me there, I would have thought he would deny he was lost or scared, even pull some excuse why he was crying.  
   
Yet he broke down, running to me, wrapping his arms around me as he admitted how scared he was.  
   
That was the one moment in my life that I ever felt like the big brother…  
   
Those were good days…  
   
But everything changes, it’s unfortunately a part of growing up…  
   
We were all standing there listening to our Master who was giving a very long and boring speech.  
   
Like normal I appeared to be interested, but I really wanted it to end so we can go play before we go off to do our usual training.  
   
Little did I know that our Master had chosen his successor.  
   
I mean I knew he was going to, but didn’t realized it was today.  
   
I forgot, lets say I was a bit scatterbrained at times, forgetting such things or was it not listening in the first place…  
   
Of course I grew out of that faze or was it forced out of me…  
   
Anyways, that day was our coming to age celebration, the day we are seen as adults and take the responsibilities as one.  
   
The real shock of it all was when he stopped in front of me bowing down to me out of the blue.  
   
Saying I was speechless was an understatement, since I didn’t know what was going on, then to my surprise he handed me the blue bandana.  
   
Of course I was thrilled that I was chosen to be the leader, it was an honor to have our father think of me that worthy.  
   
I never consider myself to be asked to take on such a responsibility.  
   
Though at the time I had no clue how much responsibility that was or what I would sacrifice in order to be the leader of our family.  
   
Thanking our Master in the way I thought would suit the situation, I could see in the corner of my eye Raph was brooding.  
   
Being a bit confused, I wasn’t sure why he was so angry.  
   
At first I was considering on mocking him, showing that I was better than him as a stupid joke, but part of me felt odd, concerned at the consequences of that action, so I didn’t dare.  
   
Unable to stand seeing him in such a foul mood, I darted my gaze elsewhere, so the rising guiltiness inside would stop eating at me, yet at the time I wasn’t sure why I was feeling this way.  
   
Did Raph want to be the leader? He never mentioned it to me before, then why did he seemed very upset that I received the title…  
   
My father moving on, went down the line to each brother, giving them their own special bandana.  
   
Before I knew it, I heard Donnie and Mikey gasp as our Master started yelling at Raph.  
   
Instantly being consumed by the cloud of chaos, I turned around witnessing my brother running out of the lair in a dead run.  
   
To follow him, I rushed forward without a second thought.  
   
I had to stop Raph before he got himself hurt and to find out what was wrong with him.  
   
Yet to my dismay, I didn’t get two inches away as our father stopped me in my tracks forcefully striking his cane to the ground to signify that I wasn’t to disobey him.  
   
“Donatello, Michelangelo to your rooms, Leonardo in the Dojo now,” Father firmly ordered as my other brothers reluctantly obeyed heading to their rooms.  
   
As for me, I didn’t care what he said, I was going after Raph, he was upset and I couldn’t leave him alone, he would go out of his way to do the same for me!  
   
“Father I am going after…”  
   
“No! Leonardo I said in the Dojo.”  
   
Shaking my head, I couldn’t believe he wouldn’t let me go after Raph, any other given time he would give me permission, why was this time any different?  
   
“Please father, I have…”  
   
“Leonardo your brother is angry and needs time to settle down.”  
   
“I know he is angry… Why, I don’t know… but I just can’t leave him be, he needs me,” I protested looking at the door in vain.  
   
Sighing the rat placed his hand onto my shoulders leading me to the Dojo, as I felt like I was fighting a battle I couldn’t win.  
   
“Leonardo, there are things we need to discus, as you are now the leader.”  
   
“Can’t it wait?”  
   
“No, it can not my son. A part of being a leader is knowing when to act and not. Your brother is jealous that he wasn’t appointed as leader.”  
   
Stopping where I was, looking at the bandana I wanted to throw it away, Raph was jealous of me over this thing?  
   
That wasn’t like Raph, he never got jealous of me.  
   
It was just a piece of cloth and this title… If being leader meant I would lose what I had with Raph, I didn’t want it.  
   
“I don’t want to be the leader then…” I said slowly seeing the disappointment and hurt in my father's eyes, like my words were like daggers.  
   
“Leo you’re the only one that could be, your brothers are not qualified.”  
   
In anger I snapped my beak at him, “What in the world would make me qualified? How am I any better than one of my other brothers!! I thought we are all equals!”  
   
With a rush of hot wind crossing by I could feel my cheek redden. That image of his hand in mid air, proving to me that such mutiny was not tolerated under his roof, burned deep into my memory.  
   
I became quiet and dismissive quickly at that moment realizing what I said and did, my path was chosen for me regardless if I like it or not… I had no choice to play the part that was cast upon me. No matter what… I had to do what I was told and become the leader that took everything that was dear to me away…  
  
TBC


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raph and Leo where of best of friends when they were kids. But unfortunately such times could never stay as is, while they find out they have to follow the paths they were given, losing each other on the way. Will they ever regain that once lost friendship?  
> This will be a three part story.  
> Disclaimer: TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.  
> (Turtles are not based on any given universe.)

** **

* * *

* * *

   
 _ **After the both of us endured those painful moments, what we once had shattered into pieces, crumbling before our eyes.**_  
 _ **Nothing was the same anymore. We were both helpless, caught in the waves of our so called destinies.**_  
 _ **Our feelings and our friendship was cast into oblivion over that day.**_  
 _ **We had nothing in common any more. All there was left was the fearless leader and the hot headed underling…**_  
 

* * *

* * *

  
  
   
  
   
By the age of 18 we had grown far apart so much. All we ever did from that day that I was cursed to be the leader was fight, bicker and showing off our hatred towards each other. I regret every tormenting second of it. The sickening twisted feelings it left inside me, was nothing shy to bitter and cold.  
   
At first it started small; my path in life began with me training more than my brothers.  
   
My days were consistent with me always with my father, learning, honing my skills, as my brothers went on with their lives, off playing around and only training within a set timeframe per day.  
   
I had no such luxury, as leader I had to be on the ball, knowing everything that must be learned.  
   
So many times I wanted to just walk out of training telling my father, I had enough for the evening and grab that hotheaded brother of mine’s shell and drag him to a roof far from home.  
   
For what reason you might ask?  
   
Simple in order to drink the ‘damn’ night away, regardless over the fact I wasn’t too keen on drinking.  
   
That didn’t matter to me; the whole point of it was to spend time with Raph and try to rebuild what we lost so long ago.  
   
Yet that never happened, like an ‘ass kisser’ that my brutally honest brother Raph called me so many times, I did just that…  
   
I didn’t disobey my master, burying my feelings deep inside, that I have to admit hurt so much, carving the gap in my heart wider.  
   
I cry most nights when no one was around, wishing our lives went down a different path.  
   
Raph hated me… I hated myself…

* * *

  
   
  
  
   
You think 6 years after that day things would have gotten better… Fuck it didn’t!  
   
All he did was train and train and god damn TRAIN some more!  
   
He had no time for me or the other two brothers even!  
   
The more I witness the same routine day in and day out, it only made me sick to my stomach, twisting this bubbling resentment to new heights.  
   
I couldn’t handle it anymore, I had to leave the lair on my own accord.  
   
Which didn’t make much of a difference either way, considering Master never cared what the fuck I did, as long as he had his prize pupil he didn’t need a wash up like me.  
   
All that ever comes out of me being around that place, was Leo and I would start fighting over the stupidest things.  
   
Leo would try to resolve our issues not being a brother towards me, but the damn stupid leader of all things, which only pissed me off more.  
   
That… that wasn’t what killed me inside every time we cross wires… we fought so much with such hatred for each other, it was like a wildfire that neither of us could smoke out.  
   
The rotten feelings it left me in the end was this hard unbearable burning heat…  
   
I sometimes wonder this work up rage inside was more towards my father, yet I couldn’t lash it out on him, no sir… So to get it out before I burst up into flames, it was Leo in whom I targeted these disgusting feelings towards…  
   
It wasn’t as bad at first, but this grew, intensifying in levels unimaginable by ever painful day that passed by.  
   
I was branded as the hothead, the one that just acts without reason.  
   
Leo was the one that mostly pointed this out, other than father, like the fearless leader was taunting me that he was better… Sad part about that he was right…  
   
There were days in the not so heated moments, I had this refreshing calm state; I had confidence again, which was surprising when it came around.  
   
At those such moments all I wanted to do was walk into that Dojo and grab Leo by the scruff of his damn fucken shell and tell Master Splinter that he had enough god damn training, since he needs a break too!  
   
What would I do with Leo if he didn’t fight back for what I was doing… Make him sit his sorry ass on my bike and go for a joy ride and enjoy an evening without thinking about training, or the Foot, or being the stupid leader and just be brothers…  
   
Yet that never happened… Not one second looking into the Dojo all the confidence and courage, escape me.  
   
My knees would grow weak, then to replace my weakness; I let in the anger and frustration inside me to consume me once more, storming out of the lair like a mad man…   
   
I would always wind up at this building that overlooked the city, staring out into the abyss as I drank my sorrows away, crying into the damn bottle…  
   
Leo doesn’t care about me anymore…. I don’t give a shit about myself either….  
   
  


* * *

* * *

  
_**In the end, we grown so far apart that we are not from the same worlds anymore…**_  
 _ **How could we have done this to each other?**_  
 _ **Why… why… why…**_  
 

* * *

* * *

  
  
  
  
   
I stand here now casting my gaze upon the city below wearing the one thing no one would have considered a possibility, or gone mad to accept such a role.  
   
I was now a foot soldier…  
   
After Leo killed the Shredder the Foot was disorganized fighting amongst each other for territory, creating some stupid ninja war within the city walls.  
   
It took our family to resolve this matter once and for all and even get treaty with the Foot in the end, which they will not bother our family from that day forward.  
   
Finally, putting an end to that long cycle of hatred, that didn’t need to be there anymore.  
   
After that moment father proclaimed Leo needed to grow some more and expand his training to new levels…  
   
“WHY are you sending him away!” I screamed at the rat that grown used to my outbursts of anger.  
   
“Leonardo has much to learn as a leader. One of those things is to get you to obey my son,” the rat said coldly sipping his tea.  
   
Swinging my arms out trying everything not to grab my so called father by the throat, I contain my rage for a moment, “Is that all? If so, then fine, I will start listening to Leo!”  
   
Shaking his head the rat sighed pouring himself another cup of herbal tea to fill it up again, “That isn’t enough, my son. When he comes back home, you will see what good this is for the both of you. You might learn patients from his absence...”  
   
Unable to take it, I lost what little composure I had left, flipping the table across the small room as my master’s eyes harden by my actions.  
   
In matters of seconds his cane came towards my head to discipline me, this time however…  
   
This time I didn’t take it, grabbing the cane firmly in hand, taking it out of my skillful master’s hand, smashing it against the wall.  
   
I stood there tall, then I have ever dared to act towards him in the past, watching splinters of wood fly through the air, as my Master’s eyes widen in disbelief.  
   
Growling under my breath, I glared at him in disgust, “What good is breaking this family apart will do for any of us, huh?!”  
   
“Raphael calm yourself, it’s only for one year!” my Master spat, trying his best not to lose his own temper.  
   
“You really don’t get it do you! That is a very long time!”  
   
Sighing, the rat shook his head annoyingly, sitting back down, “Raphael these childish antics are the reason your brother needs to train more…”  
   
He acted so collective blaming me for Leo being sent away, yet it was him that forced it and suggested it in the first place!  
   
I couldn’t take his insults anymore, I had enough of him putting me down and thinking Leo needed to get stronger for what reason?! So my father could have at least have one prize son to become some grand delusion of his own making, some great ninja master?  
   
Throwing my Sai to the ground and bandana with it, I turned around not daring to make eye contact with that old rat.  
   
“That’s your answer every goddamn time, stating I’m being childish, weak and quick to anger. Never thinking things through… You know what I think? You are the problem here not me. Sending Leo away is a mistake, for it will pull this family apart regardless on what you think it would do! You're so god damn blind in seeing what’s in front of you, you know that. We don’t need a fucken leader, we need our brother… We need Leonardo the turtle brother, not Leonardo the fearless leader… But you really can’t see that can you?”  
   
The room became silent and I could tell my Master was speechless, rolling my eyes, I headed for the door, as he finally spoken up, “Raphael if you leave this room…”  
   
Spinning my head towards him, my eyes must have been hard and cold for it made the rat shiver, in the likes I have never seen him do, “I don’t care, I don’t want to be part of this so called family. Like I said there is no family here anymore, just your pawn for some stupid revenge we should never gotten involved in.”  
   
After that I left, leaving all my stuff behind only taking my bike.  
   
Sure Mikey and Donnie tried to stop me, but I told them the truth and how I felt inside.  
   
How I couldn’t live under the same roof as someone that only cares in making the perfect soldier over keeping his so called family together.  
   
He made Leo his trophy and I didn’t want anything to do with it.  
   
For weeks I was here and there, now and then Mikey or Donnie would find me and update me with news of home.  
   
I could tell my absence was upsetting them, but I couldn’t go back not after what I said and I wasn’t going to be one that puts his tail between his legs and admit he was wrong when that wasn’t true.  
   
Weeks turned into months.  
   
Then one day I was told our Master passed away, sadly I didn’t give two shits and walked away from Donnie who was trying to bring me back home.  
   
I didn’t care, Leo by what Donnie said, wasn’t coming back home after he heard the news, so why should I?  
   
I drank most my nights away, crashing in some alleyway after some fuck up fight, full of bruises, taking on anything that dared to pick a fight with me.  
   
This continued on day after day, at one point neither brother bothered picking me up from the gutter to bring me to some nearby building, knowing home wasn’t an option.  
   
I guess I became a burden to them, or where they sick of seeing my lazy drunken ass laying in his own vomit?  
   
I don’t know when this happened or why, out of nowhere after months of our so called father’s death, Karai came to me with a proposition.  
   
Being a bum that was kicking purple dragons asses left and right, with no home of my own, I was more than intrigued in hearing what she had to offer as odd as that may have been.  
   
Man, I must have been desperate to get out of this shit I buried myself into.  
   
Or maybe what convince me to take a moment to hear her out was over the fact that the Foot thought of me as an asset, which was more than my own father consider of me, that honestly sparked my curiosity.  
   
The Foot was in a state of change and she wanted me to join them to make this change possible.  
   
The changes were unbelievable when it came out of her mouth; the Foot were turning a new leaf.  
   
After their old code was making them extinct, they needed to start fixing things and walk down a different path.  
   
Gladly I agreed to her condition swearing allegiance to the Foot, not realizing what Karai really wanted from me…

* * *

  
   
   
  
  
   
Walking down the peaceful path before me, surrounded by bamboo, I never consider myself in this position or thought I could be so honored.  
   
Who would have thought an ex ninja leader becoming a monk in the mountains of Japan?  
   
After I took the life of my enemy the Shredder, or was it I took the life of the enemy of my father’s revenge?  
   
My Master considered some time overseas away from my brothers would do me some good, making me a stronger leader…  
   
For what reason did he have to do this to me… to control Raph?  
   
Why did I have to, yes, we didn’t get along, but was sending me away the right choice in dealing with that?  
   
“Father, I don’t think this is a wise idea…” I stood there watching him going through my things, telling me what was okay for me to bring and not.  
   
“My son, this is a necessity, you need to hone your skills. Only then you can be a great leader as you were destined to be.”  
   
Sitting on my bed, this didn’t feel right, I didn’t like this one bit, leaving my brothers like this…  
   
“I understand Master, but can this be done another way?”  
   
Stopping what he was doing father flash a look at me, “Leonardo this is imminent no arguments! Do I make myself clear?”  
   
Sighing under my breath so he couldn’t catch it, I only nodded, watching him to continue to lessen my pack.  
   
In the corner of my eye I could see Mikey peaking through the crack of my door frame, he seemed so sad… Was he crying?  
   
When everything was ready, I left by ship saying my goodbyes to my younger brothers, as for Raph was unfortunately wasn’t there.  
   
I guess he didn’t want to see me, thinking that I was abandoning this family, him even….  
   
The sad thing is he was right, if I was a good brother not some damn leader, I would put my foot down and stayed home where I was needed.  
   
My loyalty is to them not to become a better leader to whom?  
   
If it came to it, I would have even taken my brothers away from our Master, his ways were unorthodox, there was no need for us to be ninjas anymore.  
   
We have done our dues, we needed to be brothers more than anything…  
   
Yet I never did what I should have… sailing the open seas to a destination I didn’t care about, coming home sick every second that passed by.  
   
I first arrived at a port finding myself in some thick jungle.  
   
I really don’t know where I was, only that I had to stay there for one year.  
   
Days turned into weeks and I watch the small village that was in the area, keeping them safe the best I could to pass the time.  
   
The loneliness and isolation gave me much to think about, things I never had time before.  
   
I started to doubt myself, how could I call myself a leader or brother for what I have just done?  
   
I abandon them cowardly, not putting them first.  
   
For these actions, I could never face Raph again…  
   
Then one day I got news about our father dying and believe it or not, I actually felt happy and relieved by this so called sad news.  
   
I never realized how much I resented him, until that moment.  
   
Then I found out about Raph and how he buggered off on his own long before that.  
   
So I did pull the family apart after all…. How incredibly useless I was.  
   
Mikey begged me in his letter for me to come back home, but I took it and burn it quickly shameful in looking at it a second time over.  
   
I couldn’t consider that notion, I became so lost in my failure… In the end, I cling onto my cloak for dear life and started to wander helplessly, not caring where I ended up.  
   
All my life I was training to be something I didn’t want to be, I just wanted to be like Raph…  
   
Some time had passed as I continue to walk to nowhere, maybe months later I’m not entirely sure, everything blended together, time was still, none existing for me.  
   
Then one day I stumbled into some mountains, exhausted and suffering from heat stroke I collapsed in the middle of nowhere.  
   
I thought I was going to die. Honestly, I didn’t care, there was nothing left of me to save anyways, so why not waste somewhere as beautiful as these mountains.  
   
I couldn’t think of any better place to make my death bed.  
   
I’m not sure why or how it came about, but that wasn’t my fate after all.  
   
Days passed, I think, when I finally awoken in a hut made of wood as a little old lady sat there sipping her tea. She wasn’t afraid of me, instead she seemed concerned about my well being.  
   
What she told me the monks found me high in the mountains and brought me to her to get some healing.  
   
She even referred me as a Kappa, which I corrected her right away informing her I was actually a mutant, yet that didn’t stick she insisted I was one and a good one at that, a sign of hope.   
   
I thought she was delusional at first considering me as any sign of hope, that’s until the monastery that the monks lived was attacked by raiders from some a nearby village.  
   
Being in the heart of Japan many resorted in the old ways, keeping with tradition, which was a breath of fresh air in its way.  
   
Unable to stand there and watch the chaos unfolding, I fought the raiders off, helping the monks.  
   
In thanks and gratitude that I wasn’t use to, considering in New York most people never really thank me only ran or freaked out over the fact I was a turtle, they offer me to stay and learn under them if I wanted to.  
   
They made sure I understood they would never pressure me, it was my decision to make.  
   
Agreeing, I put my sword away, living their simple life until I found myself yet again.  
   
After much time passed, I was able to get a hold of Mikey finding out the news about Raph and the Foot, as well what Karai’s plans were for him, which Mikey wished I would make an ends to…  
  
TBC


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raph and Leo where of best of friends when they were kids. But unfortunately such times could never stay as is, while they find out they have to follow the paths they were given, losing each other on the way. Will they ever regain that once lost friendship?
> 
> This will be a three part story.  
> Disclaimer: TMNT isn’t mine and this is just a fan fiction writing. No money is being made on this story.  
> (Turtles are not based on any given universe.)

** **

 

* * *

* * *

**_How did we grow so far apart?_ **  
**_Maybe it’s about time we focus on fixing these old wounds?_ **

* * *

* * *

  
   
I climbed quickly up the ranks within the Foot Clan with ease, getting my rusty skills back in shape in no time.  
   
No ninja could take me down and after a short time they started to respect me as one of them, then some mutant that long ago was the enemy.  
   
I was a great asset to the Foot Clan and not once was I told otherwise.  
   
I felt more at home than I have in years, wanted, not some washout to use as a sample of what a ninja isn’t.  
   
Donnie and Mikey didn’t agree with my decision, of course, stating I was working for our families greatest adversaries and I have gone mad. But was I?  
   
They might have been our enemies in the past, which only came to that for our father and The Shredders animosity towards each other, which actually caused this bullshit in the first place.  
   
The Foot wasn’t the same anymore, they had new priorities and ways that were beyond how the Shredder use to run this clan, though at the moment there was no new head yet.  
   
The new Shredder was still to be announced when the time was right, until then things were being organized and new rules were being placed so past defeats and mistakes never reoccur with the new Shredder leading.  
   
One night after my workout that I prefer to do in solitary, I was summoned to come to the meeting hall, the same one my brother killed the last Shredder.  
   
I have to admit seeing the room in the same shape I last saw it, brought some creepy feelings inside back up, I mean I saw their old master slain in this room.  
   
I was even a part of it, yet now I was the same as them… Funny how fate plays its cards huh?  
   
Standing there near what I guess was the throne, why there was a throne there in the damn first place, I have no clue. Man I found it overly gody really… That’s how much a pompous arse the old Shredder was, he probably saw himself as a king or a god?  
   
Anyways, Karai was standing there with two Elite Foot soldiers by her side as the rest of the clan were either side of me, standing there all formal in rows.  
   
Warily, I approached Karai unsure if I was to follow sample and stand with the other ninjas or not.  
   
The thing is I had no clue what was going on, no one mention there was going to be a meeting or anything of the sorts to me.  
   
Then out of nowhere just as I reach Karai she bowed low to me presenting me the helmet of the Shredder as I was filled with confusion.  
   
“Raphael we ask of you to be our new Shredder and lead the Foot Clan to a new dawn,” Karai said firmly.  
   
Shock by her words, I back up looking around, waiting for someone to tell me this was some prank, which I knew was unlikely, “Wait? What… me….”  
   
A small smirk claimed Karai’s lips in amusement, that she tried not to let any other to see, “Yes, we would be honored that you become the next Shredder, please praise us by being our leader.”  
   
I could feel the tension in the room rising, all eyes were on me, they wanted me to lead them? Me? Why did they think I was worthy enough?  
   
Taking a breath, I closed my eyes was this what I wanted? I wanted to change the Foot for the greater good, I knew deep down how that can be achieved. So do I have what it takes to do it?  
   
Karai must have seen my doubts swirling inside me, as she nodded to one of the ninjas to hand me a wrapped gift?  
   
Removing the blue material, I was stunned to see the one katana that belonged to my brother Leo…  
   
There tied to it was a note, one that a feared to read, yet Karai gestured I did so.  
   
**_(I’m sorry… I know we have grown so far apart and I was a lousy leader and brother to you Raphael. I should have never been given that position... You should have gotten it, no matter what the Master said about you it was all bullshit. You’re a great fighter Raph and would make an amazing leader. I was told what Karai was going to do and I had to send this to you. I am proud of you Raph you are just what the Foot needs to turn that new leaf. You’re going to be a better leader than me by far. Be honored to become the next Shredder and make that fool before you look like a dumb ass which I know you will do so well. I wish I was there to see this, I really do… But I’m lost right now and it’s best I stay with the monks until I sort myself out again. I love you brother, always, through thick and thin._**  
  
**_~Leo~_**  
  
**_P.S. I want you to have my other blade when you become the new Shredder and bring hope again to the city. I will hold onto the other half as my connection to you, I know it sounds corny. But one day I want us to be close again like when we were kids… I miss my little brother so much…_**  
**_)_**  
   
My hands trembled uncontrollably, as I fought back the tears knowing this wasn’t the moment, I had to be strong, show them I was the right choice to be their leader.  
   
Placing Leo’s blade to my side with honor, I knelt down before Karai as she rose to her feet once more, placing the helmet over my head to signify I was the next Shredder to the clan.  
   
The room that was shrouded in silence was shattered with cheers as the helmet went over my head.  
   
Rising to my feet I turned to my new family.  
   
For the first time in my life I felt so happy, I knew this was my destiny and I was going to prove to myself once and for all I can be a great leader just like my big brother.  
 

* * *

  
   
The air was crisp and clear, while I laid there in the shade of a cherry tree watching the clouds go by merely with the cool morning breeze.  
   
The sun was bright and the tree was the ideal place to rest, letting my tiresome muscles to get some well deserved relaxation.  
   
Closing my eyes to soak in this glorious nature, something stirred to my right catching my attention.  
   
Slowly I sat up from my laid back position, blinking wildly, not believing my eyes in seeing the turtle wearing human clothes with a sword attached to his side.  
   
He grinned at me in amusement, flopping down beside me amazed at my expression on my face.  
   
“So Leo I got your present,” he humbly pointed to the sword, waiting for me to finally respond to him.  
Chuckling to break myself out of my stun state, I shook my head at him, of course after this long, that would be the way he greets me after all these years we haven’t seen each other, “Oh I see that, so you had to come all the way here to tell me?”  
   
“Well…” Raph stretched, finding the spot quite relaxing as well, “I’m in Japan on a diplomatic mission for the Foot. To show how the New York branch is holding up and how our new changes are taking effect, in hopes to bring such changes to the other branches as well.”  
   
“Oh, so you did take the title, I’m happy for you,” I leaned my shell against the tree, wondering if this was some dream, yet I knew I was fully awake.  
   
“Not as much I am of you, this is a nice place bro, it suits you,” Raph smiled brightly playing with a cherry petal that was on the ground.  
   
“I’m not sure how long I will stay yet… I….” I stuttered to find the words that were buried deep inside, feeling the guilt wash over me once more for leaving him and the other two.  
   
Suddenly, out of nowhere Raph placed his hand on my shoulder bringing me into a hug with no hesitation, like he would have done in the past, taking me by surprise.  
   
In truth, he hasn’t hugged me like that since we were small kids, I never thought he would even dare to do such a thing, especially to me.  
   
“Take as long as you want. Your free Leo, you can make your own decisions. No one should tell you who you should be, do you hear me?”  
   
Nodding my body eased up hugging back, feeling his warm body. How much I miss my brother. I didn’t want to let go, fearing he would leave me once again.  
   
“I do… Raph are you happy? Is this what you wanted, I didn’t force the decision on you in my letter did I?”  
   
Letting go Raph burst out into laughter, something I haven’t heard in a long time as well, “Hell no. I made that decision on my own free will, but the letter gave me the confidence to do it. Thank you Leo and… Leo your not a lousy leader, you were the best and I hope I can match you one day.”  
   
I bit my lip, holding the tears back, “You already are…”  
   
“Hey! If you two get any sappier you might… you know kiss!! ewww…” I voice came to my right as I almost jumped out of my shell at seeing Mikey standing there beside Donnie.  
   
Instantly as the insult came from the well known trickster, Raph jumped to his feet, “Mikey, I swear you little bastard, you promise to behave or I wasn’t going to bring you on this trip!”  
   
Like the old days, Mikey yelped playfully as Raph chased him, ending with Mikey in a head lock screaming uncle.  
   
Donnie staying out of it like usual, walked up to me sighing under his breath, sitting beside me, placing his head on my shoulder, “Hi…”  
   
“Hi Donnie, I’m sorry…”  
   
Donnie shook his head, smiled at me brightly, “No need for that, I do understand now. I don’t care anymore about what happened in the past between us all. I’m just happy to see you again and sort of Raph…”  
   
“Yeah, I’m happy you’re here too, so why are you here? Not that I’m complaining.”  
   
Twirling his fingers Donnie bit his lip, “I was offered a job as lead scientist for the Foot, so I took it.”  
   
“Really?” I questioned him, a bit surprised, I wasn’t suspecting that one.  
   
“Really. At first I was hesitant, but after much thought and Raph showing me how the Foot now runs I finally made the decision to take it. Raph wanted me to do it for I wasn’t like most scientists, I had morals and he could trust me with the tech the Foot had under their control.”  
   
“Wow, that’s amazing Donnie! So what about Mikey?”  
   
“He is bumming off of Raph…” Donnie smiled devilishly as I looked at him sideways.  
   
“He is what?” I trailed off not believing Mikey would be so lazy.  
   
“Raph has a nice place on the surface and we now live there with him. We gave up the sewer life, I have my own lab and a nice room, it’s amazing. It's way different than how we use to live all those years. As for Mikey, he isn’t really bumming, he made the decision to become a comic artist with the help of Raph and the funds he gets. So Mikey can follow that dream of his. Raph was very supportive and told us both we should follow the path we want to walk, not what we were told.”  
   
Leaning back, I like the ring to that, so Raph has grown up so much, it was amazing in many ways.  
   
Raph and Mikey finally done with the horse play, Donnie indicated to Mikey it was best to leave Raph and I alone.  
   
Once again within the silence, Raph took out a shell cell handing it over to me, “Here take it. Donnie has improved it, to the point it will even work out here. We might be far apart, that doesn’t mean we can’t keep in touch, don’t you agree?”  
   
Taking the cell gladly I held onto it tightly, “That would be nice. So how long are you guys staying around?”  
   
“For a couple days, is that okay?” Raph tilted his head at me.  
   
“That would be great, let me show you where I stay for the night. It’s not as fancy as what you have gotten accustomed to, but I like it simple.”  
   
Getting up to my feet, I cheerfully gave my hand to my younger brother.  
   
Finally, after so many years of fighting and our hatred for each other, I felt that we were equals, whole even and true brothers once again.  
   
Taking it, Raph followed me without hesitation smiling all the way.  
 

* * *

* * *

**_We might live far apart, but we are closer than we have ever been. We finally realized we never lost each other, we have just forgotten how to be brothers… But that hard times is over,  cast back in the depths of our past to be forgotten by us both. For now we both look forward with light hearts full of possibilities. We love each other for we are brothers and nothing can pull us apart._ **

* * *

* * *

  
  
**_FIN_ **  



End file.
